Tell me if you’ve ever seen this . . .
There’s a weird line between aggression and assertiveness that some folks have difficulty negotiating.
People who conflate the two tend to be either way less assertive or way more aggressive.
Either end of the spectrum has this confusion or is conflating.
Let’s use an example.
When a client asks you to make more edits on your project:
The Non-Assertive: “Yes.”
The Assertive: “Yes, I can do that extra work for $xx.xx”
The Aggressive: “No, and don’t reach out to me again.”
The Passive-Aggressive: “I don’t have to do this on other projects.”
Where do you fall?
If you’re not sure, it may help yo use this reference guide from the Assertiveness Handbook.
The Assertive style defends your rights without overstepping others’.
This successfully helps you treat people with respect while also treating yourself with respect.
2 Minute Action
Here are 2 ways you can spend 2 minutes improving:
Read the Handbook for 2 minutes.
Reply or comment here to let me know where you think you are in the battle.
Yes, I’ve written bad blog posts and published them.
For any of you who follow me or read my blog, this shouldn’t be a surprise.
They can’t all be “War and Peace.”
The thing that’s difficult isn’t writing good content and publishing it—it’s publishing work that’s not that amazing.
It hurts me sometimes if what I write doesn’t feel massively inspiring, insightful, unique, or actionable.
The goal is to get to a place of consistent, high-quality output.
That can’t happen without publishing the bad stuff along the way.
This is not a cheap, disguised excuse to pump out crummy content—that would be deliberately cutting corners to reduce the effort required.
That would be consistently low quality.
Seneca said something like: “in order to know and understand good wine, one must drink a lot of bad, even terrible wine.”
I think you get the point.
If you want to be great, you have to forgive yourself for not being great right at this very second and understand that you’re going to have to be embarrassed for a little while as you figure it all out.
2 Minute Action
Publish something today.
Perform the speech that’s not quite ready yet.
Implement a new lesson plan that’s almost all the way there.
Unless you’re a brain surgeon, the risk of failing isn’t that high.
Go for the gusto, today.
Here is the fastest route available to dealing with difficult change:
1 – Awareness
This is the stage where you realize the reality of what’s happening around you. This is where you understand the impact and consequences that change has brought.
2 – Acceptance
This is when you realize that what’s real is real and thinking about it or wishing it wasn’t true doesn’t actually improve anything. You can’t go back in time and this is the turning point when you adapt to reality and become ready to move on.
3 – Action
This is the stage where you are back in motion. You are moving with the waves and toward a new destination or vision. Even if you don’t have a vision yet, you know you have to start somewhere and this is you in motion.
It’s these critical 3 steps that you must move through unpredictable or difficult change.
Now that you know, it’s up to you to figure out how to move faster through them.
How to do that?
Identify the phase in which you take the longest amount of time, and start there.
2 Minute Action
For me, it’s the second step that takes the longest. I, like many others, tend to ruminate on what could be, what I could have done, or what I should have done. Reflecting and analyzing is helpful, but ruminating and dwelling is non-productive and time-consuming.
What’s your weak point out of these three?
Reply, forward, comment, and let me know!
The more we share these weaknesses, the better able we are to address and strengthen them.