Read This If You Think You Don't Have Any Authority
I'm not the supervisor.
I'm not the manager.
I'm not in charge here, so I'll do whatever the boss wants.
Do any of these sound familiar?
If someone promoted me, then I'd have the authority to lead.
Once I've been knighted, then I'll have the nobility to influence others.
Once I've been bequeathed the royal blah, blah, blah . . .
Leadership doesn't come from authority. Some people use authority as though it were, and many people follow as though it were--but that's not what leadership is.
Leadership is assertiveness, not aggressiveness.
People want authority because they want to:
- Control the environment around them.
- Be immune to scrutiny from above.
- Have the freedom to say and do what they really want.
- Influence others.
The strange thing is that this approach will never work.
Let's break these down point by point.
#1 - The environment around you is only partially controlled by you. You can choose your friends but you can't choose your family. You can choose your job but you can't choose your manager. So outside of choosing the people and place you put yourself in, there's not really much you can do. So #1 up there is pretty impractical.
#2 - Haters gonna hate. It doesn't matter if you're the CEO. There's a board member who is watching. And even if you're the board member, your partners, other board members, and the entire rest of the internet are all watching. There's no escape. This approach is futile.
#3 - Volleying off of #2, it's more practical to just act in accordance with your true thoughts and feelings from the start. If you don't, you'll end up resenting yourself. And that is a great way to shut yourself down completely. If you do this, sure, there are people who won't like you. But if you are able to disagree professionally and with dignity, you'll earn respect, which is probably far more valuable than being liked.
#4 - Just because you have the power to tell people what to do doesn't mean they will like or respect you when they do it. If you're truly interested in leadership, not just authority, you'll want your team to follow you into the dark and feel comfortable going there. If you're serious about leadership, you'll want your team to go to war for you. That's a lot harder if they don't like or respect you.
So what do you actually want?
Authority or leadership?
Which is more sustainable or applicable to your long-term goals?
2 Minute Action:
Ask yourself what would happen if you just started?
What would happen if you just spoke your mind about the new branding project to your supervisor?
What would happen if you were honest with your friend about her new boyfriend?
What would happen if you were open and honest with people in a constructive, professional way?
They just might feel like you're trying to help.
They just might trust you a little bit more.
They just might see you in a different light.
It just might open the door to some new opportunities.
It can take 2 minutes of your day to do something a little bit out of your comfort zone.
Today's the day.
Make it happen.
What Love and Respect Means In a Professional Setting
I respect and love you so much that I have to tell you the truth.There’s nothing else I can do other than give you my raw honesty.If I didn’t like you as much, it would be easier to sugar coat it and walk away.
You’re not yourself.
I don’t know what happened.The behaviors I’m seeing aren’t what I normally see from you.This isn’t you.I want the old you back.
2 Minute Action
Quick, honest conversations that start with love are more powerful than yelling or “scaring people straight.”It’s up to each of us to look out for each other.Pick Simone in your life who isn’t acting like they used to.Take a second to ask how they’re doing and what’s up.Sugar coating breeds distrust.Being too nice breeds resentment.Being honest and assertive brings people together.
How To Get People To Follow You When They Disagree
I was talking with a client, once, about implementing a new protocol within his team."How will we get people on board with this?"
That question has a 2 part answer.
Part 1
It helps if someone has done this before. This is called evidence-based implementation and it may require hiring a consultant, doing a lot of reading, or perhaps getting a colleague trained in a new skill.But part 2 is even more helpful.
Part 2
You are going to need to get alignment from the team who will be responsible for doing the work.Don't think for 2 seconds that the group of people who will have to live with this decision are going to just trust you without having any skin in day-to-day game.To be clear, I'm not saying you need to get everyone to AGREE. You just need to get everyone ALIGNED.Agreement is nearly impossible to get and the odds get slimmer as the team gets larger. It also doesn't prevent people from changing their minds that the plan was a good idea. Blame will still fly. Resentment will still build.Alignment is a way to get a large group of people behind a new decision even if they don't agree. You can say things like "if I'm wrong about this and we have to back out, I'll buy everyone tickets to the sportsball game," or "I'm willing to be wrong about this idea--but we have to try it first. I need your help testing this out and finding the strengths and weaknesses in this plan."Most people, even if they don't agree with you, can align with a mission like this. This also allows people to see that you're taking a pretty reasonable, results-driven approach instead of a blindly led, authoritarian one.When it gets hard, people who are aligned will continue to do the work (even if they disagree), because they know the intention behind the idea and they know their supervisor has their backs.
2 Minute Action:
If you're trying something new with your team, partner, spouse, organization, etc. . .Take 2 minutes to:
- Reach out as soon as possible with the idea/plan/goal and where it came from.
- Paint the picture of the promised land.
- Say what you will do if it blows up.
Show deliberation.Show empathy.Show a focus on results.