Read This If You Think You Should Be Yourself
"Be yourself and don't let anyone tell you otherwise."
"Stick to your guns."
"Not everyone will like you, just keep doing you."
Have you heard any of these before?
I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with being yourself--sort of.
I mean, let's get real here.
What if you're a jerk?
Here's an example:
Steve Jobs did some impactful work, but there are 2 things that Jobs fans often forget.
- Steve Jobs didn't do anything by himself, he had Steve Wozniak as his chief integrator to get stuff done.
- Steve Jobs was a jerk to a lot of people.
What's important about this is the outcome and then also "how" the outcome was achieved, specifically, I'm talking about working relationships.
It's great if you're making an impact, but it's not great if you're not treating others with respect. Impact and respect are NOT mutually exclusive!
So, do you think "keep doing you" is good advice for Steve Jobs? Maybe in part.
I think better advice might be "be true to your beliefs and empathize with others."
Or maybe something like "be genuine, honest, and respectful."
So, be yourself AND make sure you're auditing the feedback that's around you.
This gets harder if you've built a lifetime reputation of being difficult to work with because, at some point, the feedback people are willing to provide you might not be honest since honest feedback has gotten them nowhere with you in the past. But that's a deeper story.
2 Minute Action:
Every couple of years, I put together an anonymous feedback form and send it to the folks who know me best or who have worked with me closely.
Some people fill it out. Some of them just call me and say "let's talk through this in person."
There's no wrong way to eat a Reese's, here.
In 2 minutes, you can call a trusted friend or create an anonymous Google form that you can send out.
Do you (iterate). Get feedback (measure). Understand the feedback (learn). Revise your approach (reiterate).
Here are some questions you can steal from me, for your own feedback form:
- What are 3 of my superpowers?
- What might be 3 of my biggest weaknesses?
- What do you think is the best part of working with me?
- What might be the most challenging part of working with me?
- If you had telekinesis, what would you make me automatically understand?
It's Easier To Stand Out Than You Think. Here's How . . .
I had just come back from a career fair where I was recruiting for a project.I had a stack of fresh resumes in hand. Looking at all of them it was quickly clear that they all looked the same.But when I talked to my colleague, he said "Look! That one! I want that one!"There was one resume in the tall stack that was bright red around the edges and stood out from the pile.As soon as I heard my colleague say this, I laughed.I pulled out the bright red resume to reveal that it wasn't a resume at all . . .It was a parking pass for the university!All of these students were doing their best to fit in. They used the same paper, the same font, the same format. They wore the same suits, said the same things, and asked the same questions.They were trying so hard to fit in because they'd been told that fitting in meant they'd be picked.
The moral of the story:
It's important and easy to stand out.Actually, it's so easy, a parking pass beat out all of my job candidates.The bar is low. Whether you're working on your marketing, your book cover, or the subject line for the email you're writing to your boss . . . it's your job to make sure your message is seen/heard/read/etc.
2 Minute Action:
Make a quick list of the top 5 things EVERYONE else does in your field.If you were to make a parody of your project or work or of the experts in your field, what might it look like?Congratulations.You now have a list of things NOT do to.You've also got a list of places in which you can be more unique.Your turn. Let's go.
Your Privacy Is Very Important To Us
How many emails have you gotten like this in the past few weeks?They all sound the same, right?How about these familiar lines:
- Your call is important, please hold.
- We value your business.
- Thanks for shopping.
These lines probably made consumers feel good the first time. No one else was saying it, so hearing "thanks" felt good.It was a step above the norm. It made businesses stand out by making their consumers feel special.And I bet you know where this is going . . .If everyone is doing it, it loses its uniqueness, it's special shine.The point was to stand out, not to follow what everyone else is doing.Of course, this isn't what we learn in school. It's not how we've been trained to operate.We've been trained to sit still and stay in line.Don't run.Don't shout.Follow the formula and you'll excel.Of course, it's hard to realize at first, but it's obvious now that this is well-intentioned bad advice.How could doing what everyone else is doing help you excel!?So if you're goal is to tell someone their privacy (or attention, or time, or business, or affection, or whatever) is important to you, perhaps you should tell them in a way that actually means something--in a way that stands out.If you don't, I promise, you will fit right in.And it gets worse; you'll lose the confidence of whomever you're addressing.
2 Minute Action
What's something you're doing right now that is intentionally done like everyone else?Or maybe it's something that you've just always done that way.
- An email footer?
- The way you answer the phone?
- The same gift basket you always send?
How could you make it more personal? More special? More you?I bet it only takes 2 extra minutes and ends up making all the difference.