Read This If You Have To Get Over It
Tough things are tough.
There are things in our control and out of our control.
Sometimes distinguishing these helps us handle tough things. Sometimes it doesn't and tough things are just tough anyway.
Here are the 3 stages of handling tough things.
Awareness
Being aware that there is a problem is part of it. Being aware of the entirety of the problem is the rest of it. What are the consequences? What is the full breadth of the problem? Once you see the whole thing, we can move forward.
Acceptance
This might be the most psychologically difficult one. For the most difficult problems, not accepting that this is now part of your story and part of your life could seriously hinder your ability to recover.
At this point, there's no choice involved. You're either going to say "yes, this happened and it's now part of me" or you can try another workaround.
Action
Only after you are aware of the full problem and you accept that it is part of your journey, can you fully take whole-hearted action.
And that's exactly what you need to do. This is where you can assess if you can repair, mitigate, or bounce back. You might only be able to do one of those.
2 Minute Action:
The first, smallest step might not be the repair, mitigation or resilience. The first, smallest step might be compiling all of your resources.
If you're still in shock, you may want to talk through what happened with a trusted advisor until you can think straight again.
If you're overwhelmed and don't know what to do next, you might start googling "what to do when x happens." This might not give you the answer, but it might help you reboot your creative juices again.
If you know what to do, you might call an accountabilibuddy to keep you on track and accountable to your solution.
All of these things can happen in 2 minutes.
You know, marathons start with just a few steps (and all that).
It's cheesy but it's true. I believe in you.
The 3 Critical Stages To Conquer Any Upsetting Change
Here is the fastest route available to dealing with difficult change:
1 - Awareness
This is the stage where you realize the reality of what's happening around you. This is where you understand the impact and consequences that change has brought.
2 - Acceptance
This is when you realize that what's real is real and thinking about it or wishing it wasn't true doesn't actually improve anything. You can't go back in time and this is the turning point when you adapt to reality and become ready to move on.
3 - Action
This is the stage where you are back in motion. You are moving with the waves and toward a new destination or vision. Even if you don't have a vision yet, you know you have to start somewhere and this is you in motion.It's these critical 3 steps that you must move through unpredictable or difficult change.That's it.Now that you know, it's up to you to figure out how to move faster through them.How to do that?Identify the phase in which you take the longest amount of time, and start there.
2 Minute Action
For me, it's the second step that takes the longest. I, like many others, tend to ruminate on what could be, what I could have done, or what I should have done. Reflecting and analyzing is helpful, but ruminating and dwelling is non-productive and time-consuming.What's your weak point out of these three?Reply, forward, comment, and let me know!The more we share these weaknesses, the better able we are to address and strengthen them.
The 3 Steps To Get Past Ruminating
Today, I was overcome with anger.I was faced with an outcome I had no control over.I couldn't control it. I couldn't change it. I couldn't delete it.
I actually stopped being productive almost my entire evening. It totally shut me down.
The hard part isn't preventing these things or figuring out how to control them in the moment. There are many things that are impossible to prevent or control.
The hard part is accepting them and moving on quickly.
The good news is that you get another shot at life every day.The sun continues to rise and provide a brand new start.It's up to you to accelerate your acceptance and adjust to reality.If you can't do it by yourself, enlist support.
There is no return-on-investment for ruminating.
There are 3 main steps to moving from uncontrollable problem to controllable solution:
- Awareness.
- Acceptance.
- Action.
You have the power to get yourself back in the saddle.
2 Minute Action
Give yourself the pep talk.Have you ever done this before?Pull yourself aside.Go for a walk, step into the restroom, or sit in your car for a second.Give yourself 2 minutes to accept what's going on around you as reality and give yourself permission to get back on the horse.