This Will Make You Confident And Optimistic
I was wrapping a bandana around my face in a dusty rural town in the southern part Oaxaca, Mexico.I had never driven an ATV before, but I was about to.I didn't know how to shift gears, work the throttle, or position my weight.I didn't know how much torque would buck me over and I didn't know how much I'd be able to see through the dust.
I got on and fired it up anyway.
There's something cool that happens in these moments--when you don't know what to expect.You get the chance to conquer something.You get the chance to conquer fear or weakness or whatever it is inside you that holds you back from living the life you want.
I hit the gas and figured it out.
In fact, I figured it out pretty fast--faster than I thought.I hit the trails with a few friends and tore up some dust in the woods for the first time.It was such a small win--but that didn't matter. It was another thing I conquered.It wasn't the ATV that I had mastered, it was that part of myself.I had conquered that odd voice that says "don't," "you can't," and "something bad will happen."
I beat it one more time.
And when you have lots of small wins, bigger wins seem more possible.And when you have a few bigger wins, even bigger ones seem more possible.It's the consistent conquering of that inner voice that starts to lead to the thought pattern of confidence and optimism.
2 Minute Action
What's something you've always wanted to do but haven't made the time to make it happen?I'm not saying you have to plan your whole trip to kayak New Zealand right this second, but in 2 minutes you could text a few accountabilibuddies to help you set a timeline and a budget and make something happen.It doesn't have to be a million dollars and it doesn't have to be on the other side of the planet.It just has to be enough to feel like it's outside of your comfort zone.Oh, and FYI:People who set a date and a budget are over 80% more likely to actually follow through with their goals.You can send an email, a text, or make a phone call in 2 minutes.Start small.And then keep going.Nothing bad will happen.I promise.
The Secret, Unharnessed Power of "No."
The price is too high.I can't commit to that timeframe.You can't be serious with that offer.
It doesn't matter if it's a hostage negotiation, if you're buying a used car, or if you're convincing your boss that your idea is actually her idea . . .The words "no," "can't," and "won't," are just starting points.They're not the end of the conversation, they're the beginning.If your goal is a win/win situation, you won't get there with just "yes" and you won't get there by bullying.It requires empathy which means doing the work to truly understand your counter's point of view.Just to be clear:
- A compromise is a lose/lose strategy.
- Bullying is a win/lose strategy.
- Backing down and just saying "yes" is a lose/win strategy.
2 Minute Action
Before you agree to any terms today, legal or personal, ask why the terms are the way they are.You might just learn what your counter-part values enough to both get what you want without compromise.
The Only Time You Should Say "Don't"
Don't is powerful. It's more powerful than can't.We can change "can't" with attitude and hard work, but "don't" is different.
In this case, I specifically mean "I don't." As in:
I don't miss a workout.I don't skip meditation.I don't eat junk food.When we say the words "I don't," we somehow pull meaning from deep within us. It's suddenly a powerful belief inside."I don't" translates to "I'm not the kind of person who . . ."Next time you want to confront a temptation or stir up some intrinsic motivation, try saying "I don't."