The Most Helpful Thing You Can Do For Someone

The best thing you can do for someone you work with, your partner, your client, your pastor, or your Uber driver isn't what you think.It's about providing honest, useful feedback.It needs to come from a place of collaboration.

When you respond with collaboration in mind, it's easier to use the right words and tone.

That all comes after the feeling.It's changing the feeling that's hard.It's easy to respond in anger or frustration.It's not the first thing that comes to mind, but it can be blunt.It's not aggressive but it is assertive.

It's up to you to be helpful to the people around you.

It's up to you to train those around you--because no one else is going to do it.If you're not being honest, respectful, and helpful . . . you're not helping.

2 Minute Action

Think about someone you're spending time with, at work, at home, who recently asked for your opinion about something.First person that comes to mind, we're going for speed.What did you tell them?What could you add, right now, in a text or an email, that would reinforce the tone of collaboration?Here's a quick sample you can steal and use, today:"Hey, was just thinking about you. In fact, I was thinking about the whole conversation we had. Having a bit more time to think, here's what's on my mind:  . . . . . .  Anyway, hope this helps. In the meantime, I'm really glad we're on the same team. Talk soon."

This time, it's not business, it's personal . . .

If we cared more about other people's business, we'd do better in our own business.

 

Let me explain.

 

If it's truly just business and not personal, it's easier to excuse ourselves from the emotional labor otherwise required.

 

If it's truly just transactional (trading dollars for a service) then it's easier to view people as profit centers, dollar values, and less like people at all.

 

So wait . . . how does caring help?

 

By treating humans like humans, we create the one thing that actually matters at the end of our lives; relationships.

 

By prioritizing our relationships, we build trust with others. We build a community. We build a network of people who believe in us, who will support us, and who just might even follow us into the unknown.

 

But if all we care about is the transaction right now, we, by default, begin to erode our future with them. The more they feel like a transaction, the less they trust us to look out for them.

 

The less they trust us, the more likely they will hide information and act in their own self-interest. And can you blame them?

We've just positioned our business' values against their values. We're no longer aligned. Of course there will be friction!

 

If we spend our lives truly looking out for the best interest in others, it's more likely that others will have our backs, too.

 

And isn't that the kind of world we want to live in? One where we've all got each others' backs?

 

Too bad we don't measure reciprocation on the axis of dollars.

 

2 Minute Action

 

Who is someone important to you that you haven't talk to in a while? Take 2 minutes to record a selfie-video or write a quick text to let them know you're thinking of them.

 

It might only take you 2 minutes, but it will mean the world to them.