Read This If You Have To Get Over It
Tough things are tough.
There are things in our control and out of our control.
Sometimes distinguishing these helps us handle tough things. Sometimes it doesn't and tough things are just tough anyway.
Here are the 3 stages of handling tough things.
Awareness
Being aware that there is a problem is part of it. Being aware of the entirety of the problem is the rest of it. What are the consequences? What is the full breadth of the problem? Once you see the whole thing, we can move forward.
Acceptance
This might be the most psychologically difficult one. For the most difficult problems, not accepting that this is now part of your story and part of your life could seriously hinder your ability to recover.
At this point, there's no choice involved. You're either going to say "yes, this happened and it's now part of me" or you can try another workaround.
Action
Only after you are aware of the full problem and you accept that it is part of your journey, can you fully take whole-hearted action.
And that's exactly what you need to do. This is where you can assess if you can repair, mitigate, or bounce back. You might only be able to do one of those.
2 Minute Action:
The first, smallest step might not be the repair, mitigation or resilience. The first, smallest step might be compiling all of your resources.
If you're still in shock, you may want to talk through what happened with a trusted advisor until you can think straight again.
If you're overwhelmed and don't know what to do next, you might start googling "what to do when x happens." This might not give you the answer, but it might help you reboot your creative juices again.
If you know what to do, you might call an accountabilibuddy to keep you on track and accountable to your solution.
All of these things can happen in 2 minutes.
You know, marathons start with just a few steps (and all that).
It's cheesy but it's true. I believe in you.
Read This If You Want To Make Your Life Easier
Okay, sure. This is sort of a click-baity headline, but I couldn't resist.
Yesterday was a challenging day for me.
I started out exhausted. I slept in until almost 8 AM, which is not something I do.
I then volunteered my time for nearly the whole day. And I was pretty uncomfortable doing it.
I was talking to people who did not want to talk to me back. Everyone I talked to the entire day was someone who I'd never met before. I also was doing work I'd never done before, which meant that I had to learn new tricks and be proficient quickly.
Being good at stuff comes with time. A new challenge helps you develop.
But then what?
Once you're good at that new thing, you've finished developing. You're no longer challenged. Being challenged further seems really hard--and it is.
But that's the point.
Growing and developing means you're constantly in a state of being uncomfortable.
So, forget the idea of being comfortable.
If you're in shape, you're constantly in a state of some kind of soreness.
It's not that you're not recovering, you're just rotating through which muscle group or body parts are recovering and which ones are active.
So, here's the punchline:
If you want to make your life easy, don't.
If you have an easy life, it might be a sign that you aren't developing!
2 Minute Action:
Let's take 2 minutes to challenge ourselves today.
Make a phone call to a family member or colleague that you've been avoiding.
Ask your supervisor for a new kind of work, today.
Sign up for that "how to be a DJ" course you've been putting off.
The more you get out of your comfort zone, the more confident you'll be.
The pain won't go away, that's the point, but you'll be building a habit of going into the unknown and feeling confident going there.
1 Sentence To Get Past Any Difficult Conversation With Honesty
You feel it but you don't want to say it.You might hurt them.You might say the wrong thing.
No matter what words you pick or what tone you use, whatever comes out of your mouth is going to be interpreted by the lens of the receiver.
You're allowed to try to get it right, but you're not allowed to belabor over the delivery.
Here's one easy sentence you can steal to precede difficult conversations:
"I care about you so much, I have to tell you this. I don't know if I'm using the right words so stick with me, I just have to make sure I am being totally honest with you because I respect you and you deserve no B.S."You can steal this and retool it for your own use, since many flavors of this work.
2 Minute Action
Pick someone in your life who needs a dosage of honesty.
- Your supervisor.
- Your direct report.
- A long-time friend.
- A salesperson you just met 2 seconds ago on the phone.
You can be honest and respectful at the same time. It's your responsibility to make sure you're both if you want to improve this planet.As always, it starts with you and it starts right now.