How To Bounce Back From Failure Consistently
You know the feeling.You let yourself down.Or maybe you let someone else down.
It can be a weird combination of feelings including but not limited to:
- Guilt
- Shame
- Embarrassment
- Sadness
The problem with this isn’t messing up.
The problem isn’t that you feel this way, either.
You don’t get to choose how you feel.
The problem is what happens afterward.Do you beat yourself up?Do you ruminate?Do you avoid the future?
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again:
There is a 0% Return-on-Investment for ruminating.Do what you need to do to bounce back.Go for a walk. Go to the gym. Go scream into a pillow.That part varies from person to person.What we’re doing now is focusing on speed to recovery.How fast can you bounce back?
2 Minute Action
Take a second to reflect on what has been a successful resilience strategy for you.One that has been very effective for me is reframing my current situation with gratitude.It took me 30 years to learn this, but now I’ve got it.I feel more bullet-proof than ever.(Example: no matter how bad it is, I’m not getting shot at, I have my conscious brain, I have a bed to sleep in, I have food, etc.)If you’re serious about self-improvement you will figure out what makes you more resilient and use that when facing adversity.You can leverage this when life gets hard!All the information you need is already in your head, all you need to do now is DO something with it.
Can You Guess Which Of These Are In Your Control?
I didn't know there were so many advantages for a first time home-buyer.I didn't know that if I had started investing at age 18, I would have 10 times as much saved as I do now.I didn't know that I could have just asked for a raise.I didn't know that there were so many grants available for my project.I didn't know that the market wouldn't want to buy my product.I didn't know that my kids were being bullied at school.I didn't know that my employees were unhappy.I didn't know that primary elections were so important.I didn't know that my health was my choice.I didn't know that too much red meat can cause heart disease.I didn't know that I could forgive myself.I didn't know that I would be put in that situation.
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Regardless of what you know and don't know, the outcome is usually your fault.It's painful to hear, but there's no other way to look at it.Think about it this way:If you deflect ownership, you choose to live your life under someone else's control.If you choose to own each element, you are at fault more, but you give yourself the power to improve.So, until the education system improves (really, until we improve the system,) your education is your responsibility.Not everything is in your control, but your reaction to circumstance absolutely is.Ownership of the outcome, regardless of adversity, is paramount.
2 Minute Action
What's something you've been dwelling on? Ruminating on? Sulking about?What might happen if you gave yourself permission to let it go?What might happen if you gave yourself permission to think about the future?What might happen if you gave yourself permission to feel the sadness of failure and also the optimism of the future?What might happen if you did this all the time?Your productive output will not change until your patterns of thought change.