How To Bounce Back
You know that feeling when you realize you're not perfect?
And then you realize you're more than not perfect, you're completely useless?
And then you start to question what you're doing, who you're with, and why you're doing it?
Yeah.
It happens.
The trick isn't not having it happen.
The trick is bouncing back.
This is one of those "simple but not easy" kind of things.
How to get through it:
Have an anchor or two.
It helps if you have a list of things you believe in or core values. This will help you focus on what you know to be true about yourself in a time where uncertainty fogs your vision.
Have a mentor.
If you have 3 people in your life who you can talk to for a half-hour a month about what you're afraid of and how to develop more strength, you've won the lottery.
Have some forgiveness.
You're where you are. Seriously. Accept it. That doesn't mean you're not going where you want to go. It just means a little forgiveness will help you focus on bouncing back instead of wasting energy beating yourself up.
These are just three things that have worked for me.
I like to say "a lot of advice is people saying: 'here are the numbers I used to win the lottery,'" so these might not work the same way for you.
Let me know what you think.
2 Minute Action
- Think of one person who you admire. Call them and ask if they will be your advisor and talk with you once a month.
- Write down a few core values. They won't all be perfect or right, but you can re-evaluate every couple of months and evolve over time.
- Look at where you are and consider what it would take to accept your failures. I bet you it only takes 2 minutes to do this for the first time.
Why I Publish Bad Blog Posts
Yes, I’ve written bad blog posts and published them.
For any of you who follow me or read my blog, this shouldn’t be a surprise.They can’t all be “War and Peace.”
The thing that’s difficult isn’t writing good content and publishing it—it’s publishing work that’s not that amazing.
It hurts me sometimes if what I write doesn’t feel massively inspiring, insightful, unique, or actionable.
The goal is to get to a place of consistent, high-quality output.
That can’t happen without publishing the bad stuff along the way.This is not a cheap, disguised excuse to pump out crummy content—that would be deliberately cutting corners to reduce the effort required.That would be consistently low quality.Seneca said something like: “in order to know and understand good wine, one must drink a lot of bad, even terrible wine.”I think you get the point.If you want to be great, you have to forgive yourself for not being great right at this very second and understand that you’re going to have to be embarrassed for a little while as you figure it all out.
2 Minute Action
Publish something today.Perform the speech that’s not quite ready yet.Implement a new lesson plan that’s almost all the way there.Unless you’re a brain surgeon, the risk of failing isn’t that high.Go for the gusto, today.
Most People Do This And It’s Killing Them
I should have invested earlier.I should be further along on this project than I am.I should known an emergency might happen.
Have you heard yourself talk like this before?
It’s known as “shoulding all over yourself.”Unless there is a lesson you can learn and apply to the future, this kind of thinking is useless.In fact, it’s counter productive.It pulls your valuable attention away from the reality of where you are right now (and what you CAN do) and puts it on what you cannot change.There is a 0% ROI on ruminating.
It’s normal to have this thought pattern, so it’s okay.
It’s your job to catch this and make the adjustment, regulate, and choose to put your attention somewhere more useful.It’s not a light switch. Be patient. It’s one of those things that just takes a lifetime to master.Hang in there.Do your best with what you have, where you are.
2 Minute Action
Name 3 things you haven’t let go of or things you haven’t forgiven yourself for.You can also just name some things that are on your “worry list” that don’t really need to be because there’s not much you can control about them.Pick one and take 2 minutes to focus only on that and let yourself off the hook.Feels kinda good to be nice to yourself, right?This will come up again later, so be patient with yourself as you build this habit.