How To Bounce Back
You know that feeling when you realize you're not perfect?
And then you realize you're more than not perfect, you're completely useless?
And then you start to question what you're doing, who you're with, and why you're doing it?
Yeah.
It happens.
The trick isn't not having it happen.
The trick is bouncing back.
This is one of those "simple but not easy" kind of things.
How to get through it:
Have an anchor or two.
It helps if you have a list of things you believe in or core values. This will help you focus on what you know to be true about yourself in a time where uncertainty fogs your vision.
Have a mentor.
If you have 3 people in your life who you can talk to for a half-hour a month about what you're afraid of and how to develop more strength, you've won the lottery.
Have some forgiveness.
You're where you are. Seriously. Accept it. That doesn't mean you're not going where you want to go. It just means a little forgiveness will help you focus on bouncing back instead of wasting energy beating yourself up.
These are just three things that have worked for me.
I like to say "a lot of advice is people saying: 'here are the numbers I used to win the lottery,'" so these might not work the same way for you.
Let me know what you think.
2 Minute Action
- Think of one person who you admire. Call them and ask if they will be your advisor and talk with you once a month.
- Write down a few core values. They won't all be perfect or right, but you can re-evaluate every couple of months and evolve over time.
- Look at where you are and consider what it would take to accept your failures. I bet you it only takes 2 minutes to do this for the first time.
3 Characteristics Of Rock Star Teammates
Stop hiring for specific skills.Hiring this way almost always overlooks the three most important traits of a strong candidate.There are 3 things that good managers hire for.Of course, sometimes, you really do need a highly trained skill set. There's just no amount of positivity that will substitute for an expertly-trained brain surgeon--but unless you need a super specific, high-stakes skill like this, you're much, much better off starting at these 3 traits:
Aptitude
Do they have the ability to learn and execute the skills they need to be successful?
Attitude
Do they make others around them feel confident, capable, and like excellence is possible? No one can sustain this all the time under all circumstances, that's just faking it. We're just looking at most of the time. What's their common thought habit?
Cultural fit
Culture is not the ping-pong table, the nerf guns, nor the Keurig. Culture is how you treat others when it's hard, when you're tired, and when you're frustrated. Cultural fit on a high-performance team is "do you believe what we believe?" "Do you have similar values as shown by your actions?"Finding these three traits will lead to capturing the right people. Training, mentoring, and supporting them are the things that will keep them with you.
2 Minute Action
Quickly list a few traits of your high-performers.What are the characteristics that make them successful? Pick 3-5.Now rank your other teammates on a 10 point scale for each of these 3-5 characteristics.If anyone is below a 6, you should schedule time to identify/discuss and solve this.Reviews do NOT need to be annual. Make it happen, today.
How To See The Light At The End Of The Tunnel
You're working hard.You have your head down.You're doing all the right things.You're checking all the boxes.Nothing is happening.
Either one of two things is happening:
- You're missing something.
- It's coming.
If it's #1, you're probably going to need some help figuring it out. You may want to consult an expert or a mentor who has more context or insight into what you're doing and can help you see the light at the end of the tunnel.If it's #2, please remember this powerful line from the book Zen in The Art of Archery that reads something like:
"To the arrow about to take swift and purposeful flight, it must feel like nothing is happening."
2 Minute Action
If you're feeling like it's #1, reach out to colleague or mentor for a quick 15-minute conversation.If you're feeling like it's #2, take a deep breath, get back to it.It's now 2018 and the world is more connected than ever.You have everything you need to build something bigger than yourself that will help others.