The Core Of A Win/Win Negotiation
I needed the store to stay open for another hour.The lady at the desk wasn’t having it. She needed to close the store’s doors at 6pm and that was that.
So, I asked “what would have to happen for you to stay open for another hour?”
She thought about it.I offered a few extra bucks.She declined.I offered more.
She said she wasn’t going to take my money.
I asked her again if she had a magic wand, what would she “poof” away or “poof” into existence.Was there something I could do to help her make her job easier in exchange for some extra time.She took some time to think about it.After a while she said “you know what would help? If you wrote me a review on Yelp and told my boss that I helped you out.”Boom.Deal.It wasn’t about the money.It cost me 3 seconds to write a sterling review about how she bent over backwards to help me, her customer and share with her boss.She valued recognition—not cash.With some open ended questions and empathy we were able to get to a solution that the store manager was happy with and that also let me in after hours.
2 Minute Action
Before you negotiate anything or with anyone . . .. . . it could be a used car, with a pre-teen, or the Shah of Iran . . .. . . take an extra 2 minutes to ask a few probing, open ended questions that get at the heart of the problem.Genuine empathy and effort to understand will often result in a solid win/win.
Is It Really Your Fault For What You Don't Know?
It's not your fault.Well, wait that's not true.It wasn't your fault at first, but it's slowly becoming your fault.
You weren't given the right skill set in school.
You didn't learn how to use a spreadsheet or to balance an operating budget or how to negotiate the scope of a project.It's not your fault that you didn't learn, then.It's just that now, now that you're out there in the real world, it's your fault for not knowing.
Of course, this isn't fair--but it's the way it is.
You have to deal with the pain of not knowing these things and so does your employer.
Here's an example:
Let's just say that by not being good at Excel, you lose 1 hour per week of time.That's not a lot out of a typical 40-hour week. It's 2.5% of your total work week.But now let's just say that the same is true for most people.There are about 3 billion workers in the global workforce.Multiply that times a typical hourly rate like $10/hr.1-hour x 4 weeks x 12 months x $10 rate x 3 billion workers = $1.4 Trillion
Let's look at that with all the zeros.
$1,440,000,000,000Yeah. That's a lot of work waste.
2 Minute Action
You're not responsible for what happened, but you ARE responsible for what happens next.Your expectations and standards are up to you, but consider that you might not be the only one paying for them.
- Take 2 minutes to watch a YouTube video on something that could improve your work.
- Take 2 minutes to read a Harvard Business Review article that could give you a new perspective.
- Take 2 minutes to schedule time with a mentor or expert in your field and present them with the biggest problem you're facing.
It won't take 2 minutes to be a different person so don't expect that.
It takes thousands of minutes, and you can only clock thousands of minutes if you're doing it consistently day after day.Today is no exception.It's another Wednesday.Let's make it a good one.
The Secret, Unharnessed Power of "No."
The price is too high.I can't commit to that timeframe.You can't be serious with that offer.
It doesn't matter if it's a hostage negotiation, if you're buying a used car, or if you're convincing your boss that your idea is actually her idea . . .The words "no," "can't," and "won't," are just starting points.They're not the end of the conversation, they're the beginning.If your goal is a win/win situation, you won't get there with just "yes" and you won't get there by bullying.It requires empathy which means doing the work to truly understand your counter's point of view.Just to be clear:
- A compromise is a lose/lose strategy.
- Bullying is a win/lose strategy.
- Backing down and just saying "yes" is a lose/win strategy.
2 Minute Action
Before you agree to any terms today, legal or personal, ask why the terms are the way they are.You might just learn what your counter-part values enough to both get what you want without compromise.