Uncategorized Uncategorized

[SERIES] 2/7 Unpopular Belief: Be Good At One Thing

In his list of directives, Derek Sivers refers to this idea as pursuing market value instead of personal value.

Part 2 of the 7 Unpopular Beliefs Series

Don't be a starving artist!

When I was I college, I spent a lot of time studying and training for what I wanted to do: brain research.I was studying the neuroscience of the developing brain. I wasn't thinking about how much money I'd have later, or the value I was worth as a researcher. I was just thinking "hey, brains are really important and really interesting. I bet I could help a lot of people if I understood how they develop and how they work."I was sort of right.It turns out, researchers can bring a lot of money for their institutions. At Penn State, a top research institution, people are often surprised to find out that the amount of money researchers bring in far exceeds that of the football program. It's not even close.Anyway, the point is that what I wanted to do and what was valuable had a great overlap. This is called "an opportunity."If you're in love with the idea of being a starving artist, don't be mad when you are starving and can't help anyone else because you need to take care of yourself.

Go where the opportunities and money are.

If you are trying to help people, this can only lead to good outcomes. Your hard work in combination with opportunity will yield.Here's an equation for success that I pulled from a book Michael Johnson (the Olympic gold medal sprinter) wrote:

Success = Hard Work (Talent + Opportunity)

The notable part of this equation is realizing that if Opportunity is 0, the whole thing nulls out.Also notable, is the understanding that Hard Work is the multiplier. This means if your effort is distributed across many projects you're less able to drive up the success of any one of them.

Focused, deliberate effort applied in a single direction can lead to a hefty multiplicative factor.

The tricky part is that I truly believe that if you want to develop personal value, you need to be good at lots of things.Here's the conundrum:If you want to make a difference to the world, you're going to have to build something the world values--not just something that you personally value.It's up to you to pick and adjust. It's not that you can only do one thing for the rest of your life. It's just that if you choose too many, you will have a hard time getting the flywheel moving.

In fact, it's not always a good thing to make a career out of the things you really like.

Examples might include and are not limited to: sex, drugs, rock/roll, etc.

2 Minute Action

Make a list of the things you love to do.Make a list of the types of impact you're making.If you had to choose only 3 in each category, which would they be?Great. Now pick one in each category.Remember, each of these is fighting for its life for your attention and hard work.You don't have to decide your entire future in 2 minutes. But you do have to start with a change.

Read More
Uncategorized Uncategorized

The Secret, Unharnessed Power of "No."

The price is too high.I can't commit to that timeframe.You can't be serious with that offer.

It doesn't matter if it's a hostage negotiation, if you're buying a used car, or if you're convincing your boss that your idea is actually her idea . . .The words "no," "can't," and "won't," are just starting points.They're not the end of the conversation, they're the beginning.If your goal is a win/win situation, you won't get there with just "yes" and you won't get there by bullying.It requires empathy which means doing the work to truly understand your counter's point of view.Just to be clear:

  • A compromise is a lose/lose strategy.
  • Bullying is a win/lose strategy.
  • Backing down and just saying "yes" is a lose/win strategy.

2 Minute Action

Before you agree to any terms today, legal or personal, ask why the terms are the way they are.You might just learn what your counter-part values enough to both get what you want without compromise.

Read More
Uncategorized Uncategorized

Why Do You Take Things So Personally?

There's this sudden impulse when someone criticises you.It can happen without criticism, too.In fact, it can happen even when you're not even involved.

The sound of it goes something like this:

  • "Who does she think she is? She's not better than me."
  • "I work harder than he does, I don't know why he's getting so much credit."
  • "I'm offended because you didn't treat me how I expected to be treated."

That, my friends, is the sound of someone taking something personally.

The fact is that this is totally optional.

Once you realize that not everyone is constantly thinking about YOU, it gets easier to let this go.This little trick is called empathy.It means thinking about something, even just for a second, from someone else's point of view.If you can empathize, even just a little bit, you can start letting go of what seems like a personal attack and hear what the other person is saying.Maybe it sounds cheesy, but empathy is such a critical skill for building healthy, long-term relationships (platonic, romantic, professional, ad infinitum).You might be "successful" without it--but that's your choice.

2 Minute Action

Dig deep: when was a time you felt attacked in the last few days?Was it a direct stab?Could this person be going through something you don't know about?Could this person lack the social skills to know you were offended?Could this person have meant it in a genuine and kind way?Could this whole thing have been, maybe, just a little bit, in your head?It's not always 100% one way or the other.But either way, deciding how you respond (not knee-jerk-react) is up to you.

Read More