This Pattern Behavior Will Make Or Break You

You wake up.You check your phone.You eat breakfast.You check Instagram.You get to work.You check email.

See the pattern?

If you’re reacting to notifications, you’re letting other people use up your day.Set your boundaries and set your schedule or others will do it for you.Someone is in control.It’s either you or someone else.Either you knee-jerk react to every little red bubble on your phone or you choose how and when to respond.Your choice.

2 Minute Action:

Go through your phone notifications and turn off social media and email notifications.If it’s important, you’ll get a call or text.Get control of your attention and you can focus it on building what you’ve always dreamed.It’s your life.Don’t let someone else live it for you.

Why Do You Take Things So Personally?

There's this sudden impulse when someone criticises you.It can happen without criticism, too.In fact, it can happen even when you're not even involved.

The sound of it goes something like this:

• "Who does she think she is? She's not better than me."
• "I work harder than he does, I don't know why he's getting so much credit."
• "I'm offended because you didn't treat me how I expected to be treated."

That, my friends, is the sound of someone taking something personally.

The fact is that this is totally optional.

Once you realize that not everyone is constantly thinking about YOU, it gets easier to let this go.This little trick is called empathy.It means thinking about something, even just for a second, from someone else's point of view.If you can empathize, even just a little bit, you can start letting go of what seems like a personal attack and hear what the other person is saying.Maybe it sounds cheesy, but empathy is such a critical skill for building healthy, long-term relationships (platonic, romantic, professional, ad infinitum).You might be "successful" without it--but that's your choice.

2 Minute Action

Dig deep: when was a time you felt attacked in the last few days?Was it a direct stab?Could this person be going through something you don't know about?Could this person lack the social skills to know you were offended?Could this person have meant it in a genuine and kind way?Could this whole thing have been, maybe, just a little bit, in your head?It's not always 100% one way or the other.But either way, deciding how you respond (not knee-jerk-react) is up to you.

If You React, You'll Always Fail

What happens when someone criticizes your idea, writing, or product?

Do you get defensive?When you're listening to the blasphemer who is bashing your hard work, are you just waiting for your turn to talk?

Are you listening to win?

The sooner you regulate that emotion and start listening to understand, the sooner you'll be building better products, writing better blog posts, or communicating better ideas.Be reactive and you'll alienate yourself from the people who care the most.Be responsive and you'll start transforming angry customers into customers for life.

2 MINUTE ACTION:

If you're like me, you probably have a mental vault of every time someone criticized your idea/project/blog/etc.Unlock your vault and take a look around. What's something someone criticized recently? Did you respond or react?How would you change your response, now?