Read This If You Like Superhero Movies
(This is a repost/edit of a full blog post I made on Medium a few months ago. I felt it needed to be reshared, here.)
In some, eery parallel universe, in a land far far away, something strange is happening.
One must be endowed, either by the cosmos or some stroke of chance, with the ability to help people.
And if neither the cosmos nor some radioactive bug exists, our only hope of being more than just ourselves is falling into a vat of toxic waste.
I don't know about you, but I have no idea where to find a good, deep vat of toxic waste.
The allure of superhero movies is typically the transformation from the reluctant, mild-mannered, everyday human to the genetically superior and morally obligated superhuman. Only after we are endowed with this unnatural capacity can we train our minds with a small green mentor or train our bodies on some distant, high-gravity planet.
Since we, unfortunately, live here on Earth, this proposes a small dilemma.
No vats. No radioactive bugs. No cosmic alignment.
No alien technology. No Dragon Balls. No Infinity Gauntlet.
Bummer.
So, now what?
Well, you guessed it.
You have to make a choice.
Most people stay stuck and thus choose the belief that "I don't have the ability to change myself, nor can I acquire the ability to change myself. Power and ability are unlearned traits that are solely endowed by fate."
But, not you, right?
Ask yourself something . . .
Do you feel strong when you watch a superhero movie?
Most people do and that's the point. We feel empowered to change the world or at least the part that interests us.
You have to choose if you believe that you can change yourself or if you believe you can't.
Most people choose to be a superhero without knowing it.
The problem with "superhero thinking" is that we often get charged up and attack the problem by ourselves. We suffer for the greater good, make sacrifices, and spin our wheels harder than we ever thought we could.
We charge the beach and don't see the .50 caliber on the shoreline.
Charging a beach alone like a superhero isn't valiant or noble.
It's stupid.
Real-life real-world problems cannot be solved by an individual.
Real-life real-world problems are solved by teams with systems.
Sounds really sexy, right?
"Superhero thinking" is sexy! It's romanticized! Superheroes can do it all!
We want the gadgets, the moral compass, and the abs, oh good lord the abs.
And we want it all before we even start.
We want the diet pill, the salary raise at work, and mountain top mansion all before we change ourselves.
I'm sorry, but we're not superheroes. We're humans.
It's up to us to do all the changing.
The human brain is plastic.
That means that when you practice something a lot, it gets easier.
Your brain isn't a muscle. Your muscles are more like your brain.
The first time you play the piano, it's terrible. You don't have the dexterity you need which makes the process of learning frustrating and unenjoyable.
After two years of performing the same motions over and over, your brain has rewired to make it easier. You can now do something you couldn't do before and guess what?
Now it's fun.
You are the same person.
Same name. Same face. Same DNA.
You just earned a new ability which can serve you in a new way.
Maybe it's a creative outlet that helps you regulate emotions. Maybe it's a source of income. Maybe it's a way to connect with your friends.
Some abilities are easier to learn than others.
For example, if you wanted to learn how to "walk the dog" with a yo-yo, it's probably only going to take you 45 minutes.
If you want to integrate evidence-based learning practices in public school districts across the country, it's probably going to take you a whole career.
So what happens when we raise our children to believe in superheroes?
Look, I'm not saying that superhero movies aren't fun to watch.
They're fantasy. It's fun to pretend we could be like that caped silhouette on the screen.
And that's exactly my point. It's make-believe.
Not just the radioactive, toxic waste part--the whole mindset.
Here are some ways to tell if you are using "superhero thinking" without realizing it:
- Sometimes you have to stay late at work and make sure the job gets done. The keyword here is "sometimes." If you are staying late more days than not, you are probably using "superhero thinking."
- If your work often requires you to make personal sacrifices to get it done, like missing your kid's baseball season, you are probably using "superhero thinking."
- If your mindset is that no one is better than you at this one skill, so you shouldn't let anyone else have the final say about that part of the project, you are probably using "superhero thinking."
- When a teammate breaks something and you run in to take the task away and solve it yourself, you are probably using "superhero thinking."
- If your child continues to struggle in school and you continue to sign absence notes and do their homework for them, you are probably using "superhero thinking."
I sort of tricked you.
I wrote this post about superheroes, but it's really about pragmatism, leadership, and the important commitment we owe ourselves to self-improvement.
It's also about media consumption.
You are what you eat, read, and watch.
We are each from different walks of life and have different predispositions, demons, and access to resources.
Regardless of where you are, today:
- You alone are responsible for deciding what's fantasy and what's real.
- You alone are responsible for developing yourself.
- You alone are responsible for building teams and systems that actually help people, long after you're gone.
Consider this your origin story.
There's no vat. There's no secret government lab. There's no mutating serum.
You are faced with the choice of whether or not to develop your own superpowers with the skills and abilities you have today.
You are faced with the choice of whether or not to decide your own destiny.
You are faced with the choice of whether or not to take responsibility for helping people other than yourself.
We live in a distressed world with real people in it. There are real lives at stake.
You must choose to be the best version of yourself.
You must choose to help others become the best versions of themselves.
You must choose to protect yourself from "superhero thinking."
I know you can do it.
We're all counting on you.
How To Get To Your Dream
Step 1 - Define the dream.
Examples of good definitions:
- Save 500 lives by donating blood.
- Fully fund a non-profit in my area for the year.
- Reach $x in revenue by 2025.
Examples of bad definitions:
- Change education.
- Start a non-profit.
- Disrupt the industry.
Hint: If you can't "check the box," then it's bad definition. You can't check the box on "learning Spanish," because you can always improve. You CAN check the box that reads "have a 30-minute conversation in Spanish with a native speaker."
Step 2 - Validate the dream's feasibility.
Example of good sources of validation:
- Experts in the field.
Example of bad sources of validation:
- Friends and family.
Step 3 - Start.
Examples of bad starts:
- Designing a logo.
- Filing for an LLC.
- Building software.
Examples of good starts:
- Making a sales call.
- Emailing your list with an offer.
- Any work you are currently avoiding.
Other tips:
- You have to start before you can see the ending.
- Gather the tools you need as you need them, or you might get caught up by how fun it is to buy all the gear instead of spending your energy on your mission.
- Be clear about WHY you have this dream, and whose dream it actually is.
2 Minute Action:
What's a goal you've had? When would you be able to check the box?Have you talked to any experts about how possible it is?Take a look at who you know in the industry (LinkedIn is great for this), and reach out to them, right now.
Why You Should Be As Disloyal As Possible
I stole this tip from Derek Sivers.*I've heard Sivers say "be as disloyal as possible" and to "only be loyal when disloyalty is not possible."What he's saying is that the world doesn't always have your back. Your company is going to make the best business decision it can, regardless of how many years you've worked for them.It's one of these interesting beliefs that is the opposite of how we operate in our personal lives.Many people are taught to be loyal to family, friends, and partners--and I don't know anyone who's been taught the opposite.In order to succeed in our careers, being disloyal, opportunistic, and focused on our career's impact on the greater good is the optimal route.I'm not saying you should break up with your projects or your job. I'm also not saying that you should betray, deceive, or lie.I believe in being honest, trustworthy, and transparent.I'm saying scandals, corruption, and decision-making that's not aligned with your mission should be on your radar. It's up to you to stay awake enough to detect it around you when it happens.By being disloyal at default, you're positioning yourself to reality-check the decisions of others around you without blindly following.Trust is important to build over time--but loyalty should be avoided as much as possible.
2 Minute Action
When was the last time you felt loyal to something?Chances are it already happened today.
- Maybe to your country?
- Maybe to your company?
- How about to a fraternity or a sorority?
Take 1 minute and list a few things to which you're loyal.Next, take 1 more minute and list a few things those people/organizations would have to do to lose your loyalty.If you have 5 or more things for each, that's great.If you have one or two for each, you're in danger. (*Derek Sivers is a favorite author and entrepreneur of mine. He started CDBaby.com which was the first place to buy music online. He sold his company for somewhere around 21 million dollars and then gave it all away to charity.)