Feel Guilty: It Helps . . .

I crashed today.I have been overworking, for sure.Long days and few days off.I'm used to 60-80 hour weeks, but it can grind you when it's physical work or after too many weeks in a row.I took today off and I'm taking off tomorrow, too.The trick isn't just identifying burnout when it's happening, it's also giving yourself permission to take the time off.

Wanna make sure you kill your motivation?

Feel guilty.The trouble is that people like you, who care, are going to feel it no matter what.The trick isn't NOT feeling guilty, that's just going to create problems down the road.The trick is to feel guilty and THEN notice and regulate.

2 Minute Action:

Take 2 minutes and meditate today.Take 2 minutes and block off a day on your calendar that's just for you.You're the only one who knows your limits and what you need to perform at your best.

Read This If You Feel Guilty Taking Breaks

You know the feeling.You should have been working.You might have a deadline, you might not, but you're somehow still just plain guilty.And I'm sure you've heard the pitch that "taking a break is good for productivity!"Just look at the Pomodoro technique, which advises 25-minute bursts of activity before taking 3-5 minute breaks.And sometimes that's true. Most people have about 3-4 hours of highly focused attention and energy before they get fatigued and need to reset. There is huge variance here, so don't accept this number as the gold standard.Over time, like training in a gym, you can improve your number.You've probably also read stats somewhere claiming that the human attention span is about 8 seconds (compared to the 9 seconds of a goldfish,) and that it's shrinking probably due to our use of smart devices.

A Brief Aside:

. . . Please check your sources. Most of these claims come from a report from the Consumer Insights Team from Microsoft Canada who surveyed ~2,000 people in 2015. This is not an empirically based study, it hasn't been replicated, and there is no other body of evidence in the field support this. Just a public service reminder that not everything you read on the internet is verified.

So here's the answer:

I'm not going to tell you the same B.S.:

• "Listen to what your body needs."
• "Breaks help increase productivity."
• "Stop feeling guilty because it's actually good for you."

No.Feel guilty.You're allowed to feel however you're going to feel. That's how feelings work and that's the punchline.It's only after you let yourself experience the feeling of guilt that you can 1) forgive yourself for not being perfect and 2) decide if you want to be present and deliberately experience your time off or get back in the saddle and push yourself.There's no right or wrong answer here.You do have to go through it, though.

2 Minute Action:

When was a time you recently felt guilty about something?Overeating? Taking a nap? Procrastinating?Now ask yourself this . . .

• What would happen if you didn't beat yourself up?
• What would you say to a friend or family member who was going through this?
• What might your best friend advise you to do?

Try using these questions "in the moment" and see if you can better regulate your emotion and get your head back in the game whether that means pushing your limits or getting an extra REM cycle.It's up to you and there's no wrong answer.You're just responsible for learning.

Soft Skills

We're supposed to care about soft-skills.

You know, like emotional intelligence & "people skills."But that's just scratching the surface.

Here are some better examples:

• It's important to separate yourself from your work so you can accept the criticism that will help you become the best version of yourself.
• It's important to NOT beat yourself up when you make a mistake because it shuts down your motivational inertia.
• It's important to stand up for what you believe in, since rolling over leads to a lifetime of fear and depression.

We aren't doing a good job of measuring these things, nor do we actually value them (for some reason). If we did, we'd be teaching these things in school.Think about it. Instead of learning how to regulate our emotions, take criticism, or balance a checking account, we spent entire semesters learning all of these important things:

• The Pinta, The Niña, and the Santa Maria.
• Neptune is mostly made of gas.
• A Hypotenuse is the longest side of a triangle.

Here's the kicker:

You're now faced with a choice. You can change what you value and start focusing on what really matters for having a happy, healthy, productive life, or you can continue focusing on distractions.

2 Minute Action:

My favorite action: write a list.Lists are great data structures. They're simple, small, and easy to read. They also help store small, important bits of information. Even if you're not storing it forever, it's helpful to get all of these list items out of your brain and into a list you can acknowledge.What are some of the things that you're doing in your life or work that have you saying what you used to say in school: "When am I actually going to use this?"Pick 3. Identifying these things is just the start. What do you think you should do about them?