How To Bounce Back
You know that feeling when you realize you're not perfect?
And then you realize you're more than not perfect, you're completely useless?
And then you start to question what you're doing, who you're with, and why you're doing it?
Yeah.
It happens.
The trick isn't not having it happen.
The trick is bouncing back.
This is one of those "simple but not easy" kind of things.
How to get through it:
Have an anchor or two.
It helps if you have a list of things you believe in or core values. This will help you focus on what you know to be true about yourself in a time where uncertainty fogs your vision.
Have a mentor.
If you have 3 people in your life who you can talk to for a half-hour a month about what you're afraid of and how to develop more strength, you've won the lottery.
Have some forgiveness.
You're where you are. Seriously. Accept it. That doesn't mean you're not going where you want to go. It just means a little forgiveness will help you focus on bouncing back instead of wasting energy beating yourself up.
These are just three things that have worked for me.
I like to say "a lot of advice is people saying: 'here are the numbers I used to win the lottery,'" so these might not work the same way for you.
Let me know what you think.
2 Minute Action
- Think of one person who you admire. Call them and ask if they will be your advisor and talk with you once a month.
- Write down a few core values. They won't all be perfect or right, but you can re-evaluate every couple of months and evolve over time.
- Look at where you are and consider what it would take to accept your failures. I bet you it only takes 2 minutes to do this for the first time.
3 Steps To Get Past Rejection
It hurts.It makes you feel like you don’t belong.It demotivates a distracts and can cause rumination.Yeah, I’m talking about rejection.Sometimes you’ll know why.Sometimes you won’t.Regardless, if you’re committed to a life of impact, it’s up to you to get your head back in the game.
How to get your head back in the game:
- Feel the feeling.
- Accept that this is the reality.
- Adjust, and take action on your next steps.
Thats it.If you try to avoid the feeling it will only cost you time and energy later. Plus, if you don’t address it, you can’t grow from it.The faster you accept the reality of the situation, the faster you can begin moving, again. If you’re here too long, you might be ruminating.Once you have adjusted, you are free to take action and that’s truly the part of the equation that will change your inertia.You’ve got this.
2 Minute Action:
This formula also works for bad news, being dumped, losing a job, messing up, and a number of other challenges.Pick something negative that’s happened recently and run through this exercise.Pay attention to how you feel when you’ve completed your action.
How To Bounce Back From Failure Consistently
You know the feeling.You let yourself down.Or maybe you let someone else down.
It can be a weird combination of feelings including but not limited to:
- Guilt
- Shame
- Embarrassment
- Sadness
The problem with this isn’t messing up.
The problem isn’t that you feel this way, either.
You don’t get to choose how you feel.
The problem is what happens afterward.Do you beat yourself up?Do you ruminate?Do you avoid the future?
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again:
There is a 0% Return-on-Investment for ruminating.Do what you need to do to bounce back.Go for a walk. Go to the gym. Go scream into a pillow.That part varies from person to person.What we’re doing now is focusing on speed to recovery.How fast can you bounce back?
2 Minute Action
Take a second to reflect on what has been a successful resilience strategy for you.One that has been very effective for me is reframing my current situation with gratitude.It took me 30 years to learn this, but now I’ve got it.I feel more bullet-proof than ever.(Example: no matter how bad it is, I’m not getting shot at, I have my conscious brain, I have a bed to sleep in, I have food, etc.)If you’re serious about self-improvement you will figure out what makes you more resilient and use that when facing adversity.You can leverage this when life gets hard!All the information you need is already in your head, all you need to do now is DO something with it.