The 3 Steps To Get Past Ruminating
Today, I was overcome with anger.I was faced with an outcome I had no control over.I couldn't control it. I couldn't change it. I couldn't delete it.
I actually stopped being productive almost my entire evening. It totally shut me down.
The hard part isn't preventing these things or figuring out how to control them in the moment. There are many things that are impossible to prevent or control.
The hard part is accepting them and moving on quickly.
The good news is that you get another shot at life every day.The sun continues to rise and provide a brand new start.It's up to you to accelerate your acceptance and adjust to reality.If you can't do it by yourself, enlist support.
There is no return-on-investment for ruminating.
There are 3 main steps to moving from uncontrollable problem to controllable solution:
- Awareness.
- Acceptance.
- Action.
You have the power to get yourself back in the saddle.
2 Minute Action
Give yourself the pep talk.Have you ever done this before?Pull yourself aside.Go for a walk, step into the restroom, or sit in your car for a second.Give yourself 2 minutes to accept what's going on around you as reality and give yourself permission to get back on the horse.
Most People Do This And It’s Killing Them
I should have invested earlier.I should be further along on this project than I am.I should known an emergency might happen.
Have you heard yourself talk like this before?
It’s known as “shoulding all over yourself.”Unless there is a lesson you can learn and apply to the future, this kind of thinking is useless.In fact, it’s counter productive.It pulls your valuable attention away from the reality of where you are right now (and what you CAN do) and puts it on what you cannot change.There is a 0% ROI on ruminating.
It’s normal to have this thought pattern, so it’s okay.
It’s your job to catch this and make the adjustment, regulate, and choose to put your attention somewhere more useful.It’s not a light switch. Be patient. It’s one of those things that just takes a lifetime to master.Hang in there.Do your best with what you have, where you are.
2 Minute Action
Name 3 things you haven’t let go of or things you haven’t forgiven yourself for.You can also just name some things that are on your “worry list” that don’t really need to be because there’s not much you can control about them.Pick one and take 2 minutes to focus only on that and let yourself off the hook.Feels kinda good to be nice to yourself, right?This will come up again later, so be patient with yourself as you build this habit.