Read This If You Think You Should Be Yourself
"Be yourself and don't let anyone tell you otherwise."
"Stick to your guns."
"Not everyone will like you, just keep doing you."
Have you heard any of these before?
I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with being yourself--sort of.
I mean, let's get real here.
What if you're a jerk?
Here's an example:
Steve Jobs did some impactful work, but there are 2 things that Jobs fans often forget.
- Steve Jobs didn't do anything by himself, he had Steve Wozniak as his chief integrator to get stuff done.
- Steve Jobs was a jerk to a lot of people.
What's important about this is the outcome and then also "how" the outcome was achieved, specifically, I'm talking about working relationships.
It's great if you're making an impact, but it's not great if you're not treating others with respect. Impact and respect are NOT mutually exclusive!
So, do you think "keep doing you" is good advice for Steve Jobs? Maybe in part.
I think better advice might be "be true to your beliefs and empathize with others."
Or maybe something like "be genuine, honest, and respectful."
So, be yourself AND make sure you're auditing the feedback that's around you.
This gets harder if you've built a lifetime reputation of being difficult to work with because, at some point, the feedback people are willing to provide you might not be honest since honest feedback has gotten them nowhere with you in the past. But that's a deeper story.
2 Minute Action:
Every couple of years, I put together an anonymous feedback form and send it to the folks who know me best or who have worked with me closely.
Some people fill it out. Some of them just call me and say "let's talk through this in person."
There's no wrong way to eat a Reese's, here.
In 2 minutes, you can call a trusted friend or create an anonymous Google form that you can send out.
Do you (iterate). Get feedback (measure). Understand the feedback (learn). Revise your approach (reiterate).
Here are some questions you can steal from me, for your own feedback form:
- What are 3 of my superpowers?
- What might be 3 of my biggest weaknesses?
- What do you think is the best part of working with me?
- What might be the most challenging part of working with me?
- If you had telekinesis, what would you make me automatically understand?
A Fast Way To Ensure You Lose Your Team
“You’re not acting like you want to be here!”“We’re leaving right now!”“Well then get your act together and let’s go!”I unplugged my headphones and listened more closely.I was running in the park and overheard a mom yelling at her daughter.Her daughter was obviously exhausted and had no interest in continuing on, yet Mom demanded that she keep running and keep up.Let me first say: I am NOT a parent and this is not about judging people.The reminder that I experienced in this moment, though, was about something related to this outrage.There are a lot of similarities between parenting and managing, so stick with me here for a sec.If you need to tell, demand, or bully someone to get your way or make your point: you’re a jerk.Thats it.Steve Jobs is one—but I talk about him all the timeJeff Bezos is another one, for installing the ruthless, cut-throat culture at Amazon.What is success if it means hurting the people on whose backs your project is built?You have to make your own ethical decision of whether or not the ends justify the means.Just consider how much more productive happy and fulfilled people are. Consider the reduction in turnover. Consider the extra hours they’ll gladly stay because they believe in something.
2 Minute Action:
Recognize someone right now.It can be in person (always better), or by text/phone.Be specific.“Great job” and “atta boys” will not be effective.Example of specific:“Bill, when you responded to Susie in that meeting by saying you’ll stand by the suppliers, I just wanted to high give you from across the table. It’s that kind of response that really encapsulates our company values and moves the needle on sales. Really proud of you.”People who are happy, fulfilled, and recognized will fight by your side to the death.You can’t buy that—you can only coach it.
Stop Praising Steve Jobs
If you think that productivity means getting the most out of your employees, you're not wrong.If you think that berating, intimidating, or insulting employees is the best way to motivate them to achieve their highest output, you're just a jerk.Steve Jobs is hailed as a visionary, (saw an amazing future of technology) a martyr, (he was booted from his own company) and an innovator (he invented the smartphone as we know it).What we fail to ask is: could he have been these things AND courteous to others?It's really up to you if you believe one precludes the other.
2 Minute Action
- Write a card for an employee whose partner was just in a car accident.
- Send a text message to a teammate who is off-site, about to give a big presentation.
- Leave a post-it note on a colleague's desk to let them know you saw their sales report and that it was killer.
The more we are randomly kind to each other, the more we create the kind of community that can do great things.It's not just Steve Jobs who innovated, it was Wozniak and their entire team.Don't forget that.Go forth and do good, today.