You're Not As Good (or as Bad) As You Think

There's something strange that our brains do.We tend to hyperbolize how we're feeling in one direction or another.Either we're having a great day or a terrible one.It's a good hair day or a bad hair day.Our team is either winning or losing.The truth is much more boring.If we just took an extra second to zoom out for a second, we might see what others see. The good news (and the bad news) is that it's never as good (or as bad) as it seems.The more we can look at ourselves pragmatically, the easier it is to see the world as it actually is. This means seeing our Facebook friends and co-workers as they actually are. This means our grip on the world is more founded on the truth, and we are less likely we are to make important decisions along the ebb and flow of our experience.What a fresh dose of clarity for our mental health that would be, right?

2 Minute Action

When was the last time you beat yourself up for something?How might you talk to yourself if you were one of your friends, instead?Using this little question/technique can quickly cut through the fogginess of self-reflection.Use it today, you might just learn something about yourself.

Mankind Was My Business

Is it too early to talk about the reason for the season?

Just a quick reminder about why we do anything at all:

“But you were always a good man of business, Jacob,' faltered Scrooge, who now began to apply this to himself.

'Business!'cried the Ghost, wringing its hands again.

Mankind was my business. The common welfare was my business; charity, mercy, forbearance, benevolence, were all my business. The dealings of my trade were but a drop of water in the comprehensive ocean of my business!”

It held up its chain at arm's length, as if that were the cause of all its unavailing grief, and flung it heavily upon the ground again.'At this time of the rolling year,' the spectre said 'I suffer most. Why did I walk through crowds of fellow-beings with my eyes turned down, and never raise them to that blessed Star which led the Wise Men to a poor abode! Were there no poor homes to which its light would have conducted me!'"-- Jacob Marley, Stave 1 - Marley's Ghost, "A Christmas Carol" by Charles Dickens

I know you've read my thoughts on the death bed principle--the idea of actively staring down the days we have left and taking action on ideas that reduce the likelihood of regret. Well, there's also another way to combat regret, and that's by focusing on happiness.It turns out that happiness (serotonin) and temporary pleasure (dopamine) are completely different in our brains, yet we conflate them all the time.The words of Jacob Marley haunt me every year and I'm so grateful. Let's spend more time focusing on others, because as Scrooge inevitably learns: it's those around us who give us meaning.

2 Minute Action

What is one crucial ingredient for true happiness?Is it an object? Is it touchable, sense-able, or visible?How much time are you spending on developing that thing, bringing in more of that thing, or finding a way to lose less of that thing?However hard it is to focus on doing that, amid the other distractions of living our lives, it's worth it.

A Little Hack To Jumpstart Your "Someday Maybe" List

Almost everyone has a "Someday Maybe List"

On it, you have . . .

• The non-profit you want to start.
• The album you want to record.
• The backpacking trip you want to take.

Sometimes these things are so big and important that they paralyze us from taking action. Maybe we don't know where to start. Maybe the road is so long we are afraid we won't make it. Maybe it's not urgent so we hit the snooze button for later.

Here's a super easy way to start:

All you have to do is ask: is it actionable?Can you do something about it right now? Why or why not? If it's not actionable, you'll either need more information or you'll need to break down the goal into smaller, actionable pieces.For example, "write a novel" is a big, hairy goal. You can't just bang that out today. It takes time, persistence, and a LOT of patience.Most people think: I'll write a book and then maybe I'll start a blog to tell people about it.They've got it backward. By starting with the blog, you're not only writing out the novel in small, digestible chunks (some publishers call these: chapters), but you're also building an audience of people who are going to be the most likely group of people on the planet to care when you publish it.

Is it actionable?

No. You can't publish a novel today.Fine. So what CAN you do?

• You CAN write a chapter today.
• You CAN call 5 publishers every day for a week.
• You CAN start a blog, today.

Life is going to be a lot harder (and procrastination will be a lot easier) if the tasks on your to-do list turn out to NOT be actionable.It's an easy question.You've got this.Small, daily, relentless.

2 Minute Action

What's one thing that's been sitting on your to-do list for a while?What's holding you back from checking the box?Okay, now what's the real reason?What's a small step that you can take towards making it happen?