The Core Of A Win/Win Negotiation

I needed the store to stay open for another hour.The lady at the desk wasn’t having it. She needed to close the store’s doors at 6pm and that was that.

So, I asked “what would have to happen for you to stay open for another hour?”

She thought about it.I offered a few extra bucks.She declined.I offered more.

She said she wasn’t going to take my money.

I asked her again if she had a magic wand, what would she “poof” away or “poof” into existence.Was there something I could do to help her make her job easier in exchange for some extra time.She took some time to think about it.After a while she said “you know what would help? If you wrote me a review on Yelp and told my boss that I helped you out.”Boom.Deal.It wasn’t about the money.It cost me 3 seconds to write a sterling review about how she bent over backwards to help me, her customer and share with her boss.She valued recognition—not cash.With some open ended questions and empathy we were able to get to a solution that the store manager was happy with and that also let me in after hours.

2 Minute Action

Before you negotiate anything or with anyone . . .. . . it could be a used car, with a pre-teen, or the Shah of Iran . . .. . . take an extra 2 minutes to ask a few probing, open ended questions that get at the heart of the problem.Genuine empathy and effort to understand will often result in a solid win/win.

This 1 Thing That Will Always Mess You Up, Unless . . .

You can visualize how it will go.You can prepare.You can train, rehearse, and put in the time too see more cases.The only thing is when something unexpected happens.Even after you thought you'd seen it all, something new slips through the cracks and then what?Hasn't this been what you've been training for the whole time, though?If not, you should probably re-evaluate your method.Of course we need to prepare for the knowns, but it's critical to know what you're fighting for so you can make "good enough" decisions in the moment you're flustered and out of control.

2 Minute Action

Think of a recent time you had to handle something unexpected.Forget about being perfect--or even just the way you wish you'd handled it.Did you get the job done? Was it good enough?Did your decision align with your mission?If you don't know the answer, now is a good time to write 1 sentence about what your mission is.It doesn't have to be a manifesto.Just write 1 sentence about what your mission is today.

The Best Way To Prioritize Tasks

I learned this from the Eisenhower Decision Matrix and I've used it in many settings.

Is it important?Is it urgent?Will it take 2 minutes or less?Then do it now.

2 Minute Action:

Line up your tasks for today.

1. If a task is important and urgent, give it a [1].
2. If it's important but not urgent, give it a [2].
3. If it's not important but it's urgent, give it a [3].
4. If it's neither important nor urgent, give it a [4].

If it takes 2 minutes or less to do any of these tasks, put a * in front of it.Do all the *[1]s first.