How To Bounce Back From Failure Consistently
You know the feeling.You let yourself down.Or maybe you let someone else down.
It can be a weird combination of feelings including but not limited to:
- Guilt
- Shame
- Embarrassment
- Sadness
The problem with this isn’t messing up.
The problem isn’t that you feel this way, either.
You don’t get to choose how you feel.
The problem is what happens afterward.Do you beat yourself up?Do you ruminate?Do you avoid the future?
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again:
There is a 0% Return-on-Investment for ruminating.Do what you need to do to bounce back.Go for a walk. Go to the gym. Go scream into a pillow.That part varies from person to person.What we’re doing now is focusing on speed to recovery.How fast can you bounce back?
2 Minute Action
Take a second to reflect on what has been a successful resilience strategy for you.One that has been very effective for me is reframing my current situation with gratitude.It took me 30 years to learn this, but now I’ve got it.I feel more bullet-proof than ever.(Example: no matter how bad it is, I’m not getting shot at, I have my conscious brain, I have a bed to sleep in, I have food, etc.)If you’re serious about self-improvement you will figure out what makes you more resilient and use that when facing adversity.You can leverage this when life gets hard!All the information you need is already in your head, all you need to do now is DO something with it.
How To Climb A Slippery, 3,200’ Granite Wall With No Ropes
To most people, risk just looks like chance.Luck.Rolling the dice.
But this isn’t how “lucky” people operate.
The reality is, that while chance can play a role, most “lucky” people set themselves up to be that way.They practiced and practiced and practiced until they felt confident in their abilities.They had run the course so many times that doing it on race day just felt like another day.The risk was more visible.
The risk was minimized.
Alex Honnold climbed El Capitan, which is about 3,200 ft of slippery granite, in about 4 hours without any ropes.While there are some clearly dangerous factors, he had climbed the route many times over the course of 8 years and knew every pitch well.When it was time, he already knew he could do it.He had done it so many times already.He was able to believe and trust in himself.
2 Minute Action
What is a risk you could take in your life, right now?Can you rehearse some or all of it?Could you role play with a friend? Could you do it with a safety net until you get the hang of it?Take 2 minutes to break down this risky maneuver into smaller, safer pieces.Stringing them together will feel very different from approaching it all at once with no practice.
You Might Be Delusional, Here’s How
Have you ever heard “if you can believe than you can achieve?”How about “if you can dream it you can do it?”In these cases, belief is actually just a combination of trust and visibility.
Let me explain:
Trust is the reputation you have with yourself for executing things.If you have executed, followed through, and challenged yourself in the past you will trust yourself to do so in the future.Visibility is what you can see about the work to be done ahead.Even if you can’t see the ending, have you done something similar or even just not seen the ending before?How clearly can you define your dream?Example: “disrupt the real estate industry” isn’t clear enough.If you don’t know where you want to go, there’s no way to know when you’ve arrivedBasically . . .
It helps if you know what to do and how to do it.
But even more important is the relationship you have with your own execution and whether or not you trust yourself to follow through or figure out the unknown.
Unbounded belief is delusion.
Delusion is when you believe and believe, with abandon, no matter what the world around them is telling them.So, believing in yourself means having the data log of many, smaller decisions and actions that prove that you are capable of bigger ones.Delusion is when you have no behavioral evidence but believing anyway.See the difference?
2 Minute Action
Do you trust your ability to execute?If so, great! Can you name some projects that would prove this?Having the data in hand will drive up your confidence, today.If you don’t trust yourself, take this time to break your most essential project down into a few chunks you can accomplish this week and ask a good friend of yours to hold you accountable. You’ll need to know a bit about what the final product looks like if you’re going to break it down, too.Example:I have a friend who wrote a check for $1000 and said: “cash this check if I don’t stick to my plan.”People who excel set up their environments to give them the best chance of success.