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The All-Too-Common, Sure-Footed Path to Unavailing Grief

It's that time of year.

Tell me if you remember this . . .

"'Oh! captive, bound, and double-ironed,' cried the phantom, 'not to know, that ages of incessant labor, by immortal creatures, for this earth must pass into eternity before the good of which it is susceptible is all developed. Not to know that any Christian spirit working kindly in its little sphere, whatever it may be, will find its mortal life too short for its vast means of usefulness. Not to know that no space of regret can make amends for one life's opportunity misused! Yet such was I! Oh! such was I!''But you were always a good man of business, Jacob,' faltered Scrooge, who now began to apply this to himself.'Business!' cried the Ghost, wringing its hands again. 'Mankind was my business. The common welfare was my business; charity, mercy, forbearance, and benevolence, were, all, my business. The dealings of my trade were but a drop of water in the comprehensive ocean of my business!'It held up its chain at arm's length, as if that were the cause of all its unavailing grief, and flung it heavily upon the ground again.'At this time of the rolling year,' the specter said 'I suffer most. Why did I walk through crowds of fellow-beings with my eyes turned down, and never raise them to that blessed Star which led the Wise Men to a poor abode! Were there no poor homes to which its light would have conducted me!'"--The Ghost of Jacob Marley in A Christmas Carol, Stave 1: Marley's Ghost, by Charles Dickens

What is your focus?

I tell people that they don't have to wait for the new year to make a resolution, but that doesn't mean that it's not a great thing to feel like you have a clean slate once a year.The sun keeps coming up and you will get another shot, each day.

2 Minute Action

Most offices and workplaces are closed today, take 2 minutes to reflect on your trajectory and if you feel you are moving in the right direction.Is mankind your business?You should know the answer in 2 minutes or less.The next steps are up to you.

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One Known Route To Happiness

It’s Saturday. Most people have the day off.

It’s okay if you’re working but you may want to consider getting into the flow of something completely unrelated to work.People who report being the most happy often are also people who spend a lot of time in a state of “flow.”Flow is that place where time disappears and all that matters is exactly what’s in front of you.

Flow is that place where distractions disappear and you are consumed by total focus.

When was the last time you were in flow?It could be a puzzle, a rock climb, or a game of air hockey.No matter what it is, people who get more of it end up happier.

2 Minute Action

Pick something that makes you feel alive and removes distractions.Bowling? Writing? Swimming?If you can’t set aside time today, take 2 minutes to carve out the time for this activity on your calendar.It might feel unnecessary now, but you’ll thank yourself later.

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3 Steps To Get Past Rejection

It hurts.It makes you feel like you don’t belong.It demotivates a distracts and can cause rumination.Yeah, I’m talking about rejection.Sometimes you’ll know why.Sometimes you won’t.Regardless, if you’re committed to a life of impact, it’s up to you to get your head back in the game.

How to get your head back in the game:

  1. Feel the feeling.
  2. Accept that this is the reality.
  3. Adjust, and take action on your next steps.

Thats it.If you try to avoid the feeling it will only cost you time and energy later. Plus, if you don’t address it, you can’t grow from it.The faster you accept the reality of the situation, the faster you can begin moving, again. If you’re here too long, you might be ruminating.Once you have adjusted, you are free to take action and that’s truly the part of the equation that will change your inertia.You’ve got this.

2 Minute Action:

This formula also works for bad news, being dumped, losing a job, messing up, and a number of other challenges.Pick something negative that’s happened recently and run through this exercise.Pay attention to how you feel when you’ve completed your action.

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