How Advice Doesn’t Help and Neither Do Principles Nor Theories
Advice: Don’t solve other people’s problems.
Theory: Solving people’s problems robs them of their opportunity to grow.
Principle: Helping people means giving them the chance to succeed for themselves.
Action: “I can’t do this for you. You can do this and I believe in you.”
There are a few things we can learn by taking the same idea and executing it in different ways.
Advice might be accurate, but it usually doesn’t help unless it’s solicited. Even then, advice is often based on personal experience—so a lot of the time it’s just “here are the numbers I used to win the lottery.”
A theory attempts to be reasonable by sounding like a suggestion when really, most of us are just looking for a direct answer. (Not to be confused with a scientific theory, which is a declaration based on empirical data. The theory of gravity is not a suggestion, people.)
Principles can help guide but they can also be vaguely defined terms because they attempt to span so broadly. They also usually come along with deep seeded spiritual, religious, or political baggage that can create biases in judgment.
Action is what it is.
It walks the walk.
Examples:
“Just do it.”
“Be the change.”
"First take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye."
“Knowing is not enough, we must apply. Willing is not enough, we must do.”
“Do or do not. There is no try.”
2 Minute Action
What’s a principle, theory or advice you have for someone else?
How might you tell that person to take action?
Well, you can probably guess where I’m going with this.
That’s your action item for today.
Example:
“Practice random acts of kindness.”
- Take 2 minutes to say thank you to a co-worker.
- Take 2 minutes to leave a positive post-it note on a co-worker’s desk.
- Take 2 minutes to hide a love note in your partner’s car, backpack, or on their side of the bed.
Being positive and improving takes work every day.
That's what "practice" means.
Consistent, small, daily effort.
Let’s make it happen!
Why No One Cares About Iowa, And Why Everyone Should Be Like Iowa
No one cares about Iowa.Specifically, I'm talking about the University.And specifically, I'm talking about people who aren't interested in the neuroscience program.And, of course, specifically, I'm talking about people who aren't interested in the neuroscience of decision-making.Because it was here, at The University of Iowa, that the Iowa Gambling Task was developed.But truly, who cares about all that? Few people even know what that is!Without going into the mechanics of the experiments, it's important to note that no one cared . . . unless you were a very specific kind of person interested in a specific kind of thing.
It's not for everyone, it's just for some.
And Bechara, and the Damasios, and the other researchers at The University of Iowa didn't want everyone.They only wanted a specific, small group of people who cared intensely about the neuroscience of decision-making.What do you care about?Does anyone else care?Who else might care?Where might you find someone like that?
This is a principle.
You can use this idea in your marketing, in the way you talk to the people you love, or the way you find your passion.
2 Minute Action:
Choose your own future.Pick one of these three questions to answer in the next 2 minutes:
- What's something specific and small you can do to move you toward a goal you have?
- What's something specific that would make you more valuable to your field or your team?
- What's something specific that would turn away those who aren't obsessed with the same specific thing you are?
Okay, the rest is up to you.You've got this.