The Most Helpful Thing You Can Do For Someone

The best thing you can do for someone you work with, your partner, your client, your pastor, or your Uber driver isn't what you think.It's about providing honest, useful feedback.It needs to come from a place of collaboration.

When you respond with collaboration in mind, it's easier to use the right words and tone.

That all comes after the feeling.It's changing the feeling that's hard.It's easy to respond in anger or frustration.It's not the first thing that comes to mind, but it can be blunt.It's not aggressive but it is assertive.

It's up to you to be helpful to the people around you.

It's up to you to train those around you--because no one else is going to do it.If you're not being honest, respectful, and helpful . . . you're not helping.

2 Minute Action

Think about someone you're spending time with, at work, at home, who recently asked for your opinion about something.First person that comes to mind, we're going for speed.What did you tell them?What could you add, right now, in a text or an email, that would reinforce the tone of collaboration?Here's a quick sample you can steal and use, today:"Hey, was just thinking about you. In fact, I was thinking about the whole conversation we had. Having a bit more time to think, here's what's on my mind:  . . . . . .  Anyway, hope this helps. In the meantime, I'm really glad we're on the same team. Talk soon."

The 2 Underlying (And Overlooked) Components of Motivation

Your motivation changes with 2 critical things.When something is scarce or rare, we tend to want it more.When something is urgent, we tend to take action more.Combined, these are a marketing force to be reckoned with.

This information can either be interesting or it can also be useful.

You can use this understanding to avoid feeling pressured into buy those widgets when there are only 6 left and the sale ends tonight.You can use this understanding to prepare for the inevitable internal battle with eating junk food or exercising.Now that you know this information, what will you do?

2 Minute Action

If you’ve been trying to do something for a long time and have been failing, ask yourself: what will be different about it, this time?You should be able to come up with an answer in 2 minutes.Even just one new idea will set up your path and help give you the motivation to follow through.

How To Bounce Back From Failure Consistently

You know the feeling.You let yourself down.Or maybe you let someone else down.

It can be a weird combination of feelings including but not limited to:

• Guilt
• Shame
• Embarrassment
• Sadness

The problem with this isn’t messing up.

The problem isn’t that you feel this way, either.

You don’t get to choose how you feel.

The problem is what happens afterward.Do you beat yourself up?Do you ruminate?Do you avoid the future?

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again:

There is a 0% Return-on-Investment for ruminating.Do what you need to do to bounce back.Go for a walk. Go to the gym. Go scream into a pillow.That part varies from person to person.What we’re doing now is focusing on speed to recovery.How fast can you bounce back?

2 Minute Action

Take a second to reflect on what has been a successful resilience strategy for you.One that has been very effective for me is reframing my current situation with gratitude.It took me 30 years to learn this, but now I’ve got it.I feel more bullet-proof than ever.(Example: no matter how bad it is, I’m not getting shot at, I have my conscious brain, I have a bed to sleep in, I have food, etc.)If you’re serious about self-improvement you will figure out what makes you more resilient and use that when facing adversity.You can leverage this when life gets hard!All the information you need is already in your head, all you need to do now is DO something with it.